


How Not to Pass Theoretical Physics

by Disgusting_Trash



Series: Community College AU [1]
Category: Tales of Xillia
Genre: College AU, Community College AU, Incest, M/M, Modern AU, Pining, Sibling Incest, This is mostly funny i promise
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-05-18
Updated: 2016-05-23
Packaged: 2018-06-09 07:11:43
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 3,435
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6895033
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Disgusting_Trash/pseuds/Disgusting_Trash
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>“You know, I could always help you if you’re lost,” Julius offered nonchalantly.<br/>“Sure,” Ludger said, even though he was pretty sure he had told himself to say ‘no, maybe I’ll ask Jude for help instead’.<br/>“Great, when I get home tonight I’ll help you study a little,” Julius said with a smile.<br/>Ludger was never going to pass this class.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Terminally Bad At Paying Attention

Ludger could never focus when he was in his brother’s class, which was a particular problem for him because not only did his brother grade his papers much harsher than everyone else’s, he also liked to call on him more often. But it was just so damn hard to concentrate when his brother was so damn gorgeous. Whenever he got really into his lectures he would gesture and go way off topic and talk about things that, while related, were typically completely irrelevant. Ludger loved this about his brother, because he was typically reserved in other parts of his life, which meant that watching him get so into something was a real treat.

Today, Julius was lecturing about...something, or another, but Ludger was much too preoccupied by the shirt Julius was wearing to pay attention. When he had put it on this morning he had asked if it was too small and Ludger had dutifully answered that it wasn’t despite the fact that the buttons on it were threatening to pop off any moment. His biceps were defined, the tight sleeves pulled even tighter because he had, at some point, rolled the sleeves up. Ludger had no idea how Julius’ massive arms hadn’t just ripped right through the material but he was grateful nonetheless that his brother trusted him enough to not question him when he’d told him the shirt definitely still fit. What Ludger wouldn’t give to be able to just squeeze those muscles for hours, or better, to have those arms wrapped around him for hours.

“Ludger,” Julius’ voice cut through his pining and it made Ludger jump. His face turned red and Julius smiled wryly.

“Were you paying attention?” he asked in that saccharinely sweet tone of his that he used when he knew for a fact that Ludger had not been paying attention in the slightest.

Ludger mumbled back a weak, “yes…”

“And what did I say?”

Ludger weakly sputtered something unintelligible and Julius smiled knowingly. Ludger could feel the entire class stare at him. He sank lower in his seat.

“Pay attention next time, alright?” Julius could barely hold back his grin as he went back to lecturing.

Ludger had never felt quite like he would die of actual embarrassment until this very moment. It was his fault, but Julius was just too cruel to call him out in front of the entire class, especially when it was _his_ fault in the first place. Not that Julius had any idea it was his fault, but Ludger felt a little bit better when he wasn’t entirely to blame.

When class was finally out he was far too eager to escape the classroom but Julius motioned for him to stay. He thought about escaping anyway and just saying that he hadn’t seen it but by the time the thought had cross his mind Julius was already walking towards him.

“Hey,” Julius said as he hopped up onto the desk Ludger’s bag was on. “Didn’t mean to completely embarrass you. Something on your mind?”

Ludger shrugged as he did his absolute best not to look as bothered by it, despite the fact that he absolutely was. “I’m just a little bit lost on the material is all,” he fibbed and hoped Julius would leave it at that.

“You know, I could always help you if you’re lost,” Julius offered nonchalantly. “I mean, I’m pretty sure I know the material by now.”

Ludger knew it was a mistake to take up his brother’s offer but the chance to spend more time with him was always welcome. Julius was typically so busy grading papers or planning lectures that aside from dinner they rarely spent any time together. Although, Julius tutoring him was the last thing that was likely to help him absorb the material when it was Julius himself who prevented it from happening while he was in class in the first place.

“Sure,” Ludger said, even though he was pretty sure he had told himself to say ‘no, maybe I’ll ask Jude for help instead’.

“Great, when I get home tonight I’ll help you study a little,” Julius said with a smile.

Ludger forced himself to smile. He was never going to pass this class.

 

* * *

 

Ludger got home first  like he always did and immediately began to cook something for dinner. Usually when he tried to butter up Julius he’d just make pasta margherita but he thought that might make his intentions a bit obvious so he opted for caprese salad instead. Besides, he really was grateful that Julius was willing to take some time out of his schedule to help him study, it was too bad there was no way it was going to help him whatsoever.

To his credit, Ludger really did try to pay attention. Desperately so. He wanted to seem smart and competent in front of his older brother, he wanted to understand the subjects as thoroughly as his brother did so that they could talk about it. But as much as he tried, he was just far too easily distracted by large, perfect biceps and his even more perfect chest, and God, those abs with the thin shirt fabric pulled tight...

Ludger chastised himself for being so easily taken in by his own brother but the days of truly scolding himself for it were long past. It was just a phase. He was pretty sure, anyway. It was just an extremely long and terribly uncomfortable phase. But, like most things, he’d grow out of it. Probably pretty soon, too. He was in college now and he’d made a bunch of new friends, so it was pretty likely he’d develop the same kind of crush on one of them eventually. It had only taken him something like 13 years to develop his crush on his brother and he’d been friends with Jude and the rest of them for a year now so just...12 more to go.

Ludger frowned suddenly at the very surprisingly depressing conclusion this train of thought had led him to. It was definitely just a phase. That’s what he kept repeating to himself as he made dinner for Julius.

Ludger was relieved when Julius finally came through the door. He gestured to the already made up table and let his brother put away his seemingly endless pile of papers and textbooks and other such materials. Ludger had even put out food for Rollo who had not waited for Julius to get home before he had started to pig out. It was no surprise considering his adverse hatred of the man. Ludger couldn’t help but smile. Rollo was such a strange cat.

“Got caught up grading papers?” Ludger asked when they finally sat down for dinner.

“Well, you know how it is, when you start reading a particularly engaging paper you just can’t put it down...because the author clearly had no idea where they were trying to go with their hypothesis.” Julius sighed slightly and Ludger couldn’t help but smile at his obvious exasperation. “Regardless, we can get to helping you study after dinner. So, which parts exactly are you having trouble focusing on?”

Ludger hesitated, stuffing his mouth as full as possible in order to avoid giving an answer for the time being. He avoided looking at Julius while he tried to formulate a decent excuse. “...everything,” he eventually said. It wasn’t really a lie. “I’m kind of lost about everything, I guess. Maybe you can help me with the fundamentals.”

“Sure,” Julius replied. “It’s hard to understand anything else without first knowing the basics. So, we can get you really comfortable with the base parts of the science, the theories and whatnot, and then if you’re still having trouble stringing it together we can continue working on whatever other parts you need help with until you understand. Sound like a plan?”

Ludger nodded weakly. There was no theoretical alternate dimension on which this scenario ended well for him.

After they finished eating, and Ludger tried to drag it out as long as he could, debating on whether or not it was entirely ethical to fake choking once or twice (and eventually deciding he’d better not), they sat down on the couch, pulled up the coffee table and got to work. Ludger’s notes were an absolute mess of random scribblings and were missing entire chunks in the middle. And the beginning. And the end of the lectures, too. Actually, it was sort of unclear what parts, if any, he actually paid attention to during Julius’ lectures.

Julius looked beyond distraught when he discovered the sad state of Ludger’s notes.

“Well. It’s no wonder you have no idea what’s going on.” Julius tried to crack a smile but it was clear he was struggling.

Ludger frowned deeply, a wave of guilt washing over him. Julius was probably disappointed in Ludger for being so damn bad at taking notes. Worst case scenario, Julius thought Ludger wasn’t interested in the subject. Nothing could be farther from the truth. But his poorly taken notes sure didn’t signify that.

Ludger began to say something but Julius stood up.

“I’ll be right back,” he said and then disappeared into his bedroom.

Ludger could feel himself grow hotter with embarrassment and shame by the minute. He couldn’t believe himself. Julius was probably deeply upset. Ludger was angry with himself more. He buried his head in his hands as he hoped that Julius wasn’t too deeply disappointed in him. He really should have made pasta margherita instead.

When Julius finally emerged from his room he was carrying just about ten books of varying sizes with loose pieces of paper falling out of other stacks in his hands. He dumped them all on the table and Ludger jumped at the large force it caused.

“W...what’s all this?” Ludger hesitated in asking.

“Let’s see,” Julius pulled up a bunch of books and handed them to Ludger as he rattled off explanations. “That one’s on basic note taking, here, this one is dedicated to the very basics of multiverse theory so if you’re still stuck after today try reading this one, it’s a bit more in depth than what I teach but it could solidify your understanding more,” Julius kept going on and at some point Ludger gave up in listening to his lengthy explanations and instead just watched his brother go on and on. This, right here, was what he loved most about his brother. He smiled and accepted every book he was handed. Julius wasn’t even angry, he was just worried that Ludger was desperately lost on the material or really bad at note taking. Which, was about half right anyway.

“Alright, down to business,” Julius sat down next to him and picked up his notebook again, reading through his notes in depth and nodding every few moments.

Ludger bit his lip as he anticipated Julius’ diagnosis of terminally bad at paying attention. At least he’d never guess the cause of the problem, Ludger thought.

Finally, Julius put down his notebook and thought for a moment as he dug through his stack of notebooks until he found one in particular. He flipped through it, frowned, and then threw it back into the stack. After a while he pulled out the one he was looking for and handed it to Ludger. “Here. This might help. These were my original notes when I was reading through the textbook, so they go in the same order as my lectures do. It can help you get caught up. But, what I’m really concerned about is…” He fiddled with the sleeve of his shirt that he still had yet to change out of. “Do you need to sit closer? Do you need glasses? I know my eyes aren’t the best, so maybe you need glasses.”

Ludger was taken aback by this sudden train of thought. He waved his hands. “No, no,” he said quickly, “it’s not that…”

Julius sighed in relief. “Well, that’s good! I was worried maybe you were just having trouble and were afraid to say something.”

Ludger shook his head. He did pretty good in all of his other classes.

“Thank you, though…” he said.

Julius smiled. “Alright, let's get down to studying.”

Studying went about as well as Ludger could have anticipated. Julius in that stupidly tight shirt of his, passionately rambling about physics was enough to keep Ludger’s eyes occupied for days. Halfway through he suggested Julius change into something more comfortable so that, just maybe, he could focus but Julius chose to pick the other tightest fitting shirt he had in his wardrobe instead. Even though it was that stupid shirt with the weird cat on the front it was just so damn tight fitting it left nothing to the imagination. Ludger thought he was never going to understand any of this material for as long as he lived. Not when he was sitting so close to Julius, just inches away, their thighs nearly touching as Julius pointed out diagrams and pictures in the textbook. It was impossible not to stare at his ridiculously gorgeous brother and think the kinds of things he was thinking. Thinking things like, wouldn't it be great if he just casually inched closer to Julius and placed his hand on his thigh, and both of them would share a hungry, knowing look and there would have to be no awkward words exchanged as they were both all too aware of what the other really wanted. It would be hushed, hurried and frantic, just the two of them on that couch, Julius pressing him into it with every hard, jagged motion and-

Ludger jumped when he felt a hand on his arm.

“Are you paying attention?” he asked, frowning. “I'm beginning to see why you're having so much trouble in my class.”

Ludger sunk lower, guilt coloring his face. Julius was taking precious time out of his schedule and all he could do was fill his mind with things he should be heavily ashamed of. Ludger could tell that his face was slightly flushed from his own thoughts and the idea of Julius having any semblance of a reason why made him want to crawl into a hole and die.

“Sorry, I'm just distracted lately,” he muttered. “...I've got a lot on my mind is all.”

“Is that all?” Julius looked at him skeptically. “Is it something I can help with?”

 _Only if you're willing to commit incest_ , Ludger thought drearily. He shook his head.

Julius looked at him and could hardly hide the raw concern in his eyes. Ludger felt guilt like none other. He really did wish Julius could help. Julius helped him with everything. Not being able to have him help in this situation now was all the more reason to stress about it. But there wasn’t exactly an easy way to explain to your brother that the reason you’re constantly distracted is because all you can do is think about how much you want him to push you up against a wall and fuck you until you can’t walk.

“I’m sorry,” Ludger said and attempted to smile.

“It’s alright,” Julius patted him on the back reassuringly. “Some things you have to sort out for yourself, right?”

Ludger nodded but couldn’t bring himself to look Julius in the eyes. He watched as Julius packed up all of the various books (except for the ones he was letting him borrow) and the notebooks and the papers and carried them off to his room. Ludger picked up his notebook and leafed through the sparse notes he had taken. He had to do better.

But mostly, he had to keep Julius from figuring out the reason he couldn’t focus in class.


	2. Interlude

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> At first, Julius is almost certain he’s imagining it. But the walls in their apartment are thin and the rustle of bedding in the dark is unmistakable.

Julius should be asleep. That’s part of the problem. But he couldn’t stop thinking about Ludger. Maybe he had been too hard on him? After all, in the back of his mind, Julius knew he was doing this all on purpose. It wasn’t right of him. His teasing had gone too far this time, Ludger was a mess and all because of him. Not that he wouldn’t mind making a mess of his brother in a different way. He ran a hand through his hair and exhaled a shaky breath. He shouldn’t even be thinking things like that in the first place. He shouldn’t even keep entertaining these thoughts. It was beyond awful of him.

Julius glanced back at the dress shirt he is fully aware is far too tight to be wearing to class, or at all. It was a miracle that the buttons hadn’t given up and just popped off by now. He briefly thought of Ludger’s face when he had asked him if it was too small. Poor, poor wide-eyed Ludger attempting to remain calm as he shook his head and gave him a thumbs up of approval. He had practically been drooling. 

Julius opened his pocketwatch and isn’t surprised to find the time is a little past midnight. He should be asleep. But he can’t stop thinking about Ludger.

And, as it was, apparently Ludger couldn’t stop thinking about him either.

At first, Julius is almost certain he’s imagining it. But the walls in their apartment are thin and the rustle of bedding in the dark is unmistakable. Maybe Ludger is having a nightmare. That’s what he tells himself as he presses himself up against the wall and listens more intently. For a moment he forgets how to breath when he hears his own name. Julius isn’t sure what to do. He should just lay down in his bed and forget all about this. Ludger deserves his own private time to do, well, whatever it is twenty one year olds need to do in their alone time. But he doesn’t move away from the wall just yet. Ludger is breathing heavily and he isn’t just moaning Julius’ name anymore, now there are a few choice phrases thrown in there as well and Julius knows he can’t just pretend that Ludger is having a nightmare. He swallows back the feelings of guilt rising in his throat and instead focuses on the ever growing situation he has on his hands. It’s so, so wrong of him but by the time he’s thinking about he shouldn’t be doing it, he’s already doing it. His hands are already doing what his mind is saying he shouldn’t and he’s not sure he has the self control to stop himself even if that’s what he really wanted, which it certainly isn’t. At what point he had become completely hard was beyond him but it was a reality he just had to accept now. Julius was more than ashamed of himself as he pressed himself up against the wall and began to stroke himself without even pulling his pants down.

Ludger isn’t particularly quiet, and Julius is unsure how much of that is because he’s unaware of how loud he is and how much of that is simply because he thinks that Julius is already long asleep. Julius finds that it’s more than welcome as he moves his hand harder, faster, more frantically as he listens to Ludger’s desperate moans from the next room. It’s not right of him, but it feels too good for him to focus on the morality of the situation at that very moment. He knows he’s not being quiet but it isn’t as if Ludger can hear him over his own moans anyway. He’s panting, his breath hitching in his throat every time he hears Ludger call his name. He’s close, so close but he can tell Ludger is closer and it urges his movements on, desperate to finish before his brother does. Julius can’t stand the thought of finishing alone, of being alone in this shameful endeavor, and he can’t stand it anymore and Ludger moans his name one last time, and he digs his nails into the wall as he finishes. He’s leaning against the wall for support now, but he can still hear Ludger breathing heavily. Before he’s even caught his breath shame washes over him and he swallows it back. 

Julius wipes his hands his shirt and then pulls it off and tosses it into the dirty laundry bin. He lays down on his bed and pulls the blankets over himself as if that will hide his complete and utter guilt. It isn’t long before he falls asleep, but not before he thinks about how utterly awkward it will be to look his brother in the eyes the next morning.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i am working on this rrrrrrly slowly sorry! hope this super short tidbit can tide y'all over till the next longer chapter

**Author's Note:**

> I promise this'll get more M rated next chapter.


End file.
